US Decides Rape is Acceptable Military Action
Polly TickleThe United States has found a new benchmark for moral flexibility, with its decision to continue funneling military aid to…
Read MoreIsrael Expands West Bank Lebensraum Tactics to Target Christians
In a shocking escalation of its controversial policies, Israel has now set its sights on targeting Christian communities in the…
Read MoreUS Government Proudly Announces Plan to Shelter All Homeless Veterans in National Forests
Washington, D.C. – In a bold move hailed as a win for both veterans and the environment, the U.S. government…
Read MoreRussia Applies to NATO for Defence Against Ukraine
Russia, a nation renowned for its military prowess and unparalleled ability to invade neighbors, has now found itself in a…
Read More“MyNuggetsMrBigHands”: Iran’s Intelligence Agency Exposes Trump’s Password in Unprecedented Security Breach
DominickIn what can only be described as an explosive revelation, Iran’s intelligence agency has allegedly penetrated the inner workings of…
Read MoreAmerican Evangelicals Abandon Jesus After Actually Reading Bible, Still Claim to Be Christian
Liv N. LargeIn what can only be described as a theological plot twist of biblical proportions, American Evangelicals are reportedly distancing themselves…
Read MoreMaduro Clings to Power to Dodge the Starvation Afflicting His Citizens
In a move that has left the world both unsurprised and disheartened, Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro has secured another term…
Read MoreKeir Starmer Advocates for Irish-Led Union to Fix Brexit Mess
In a bold and unprecedented move, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer has proposed a unique solution to the ongoing Brexit…
Read MoreWWE and Netflix Look to Stream Maduro vs Elon Musk Fight
Chip ByteleyIn an unexpected twist that has left political analysts and entertainment enthusiasts alike scratching their heads, WWE and Netflix have…
Read MoreGovernment Announces New Tax on Conspiracy Theorists
The Commission on Presidential Debates has announced that all future presidential debates will now feature live lie detector tests, a…
Read MorePolice Implement ‘Shoot First, Ask Questions Later’ Policy for Calls from Black Neighborhoods
In an open acknowledgment of existing biases, police departments across the nation have started implementing a controversial new policy: “Shoot…
Read MoreGOP Launches ‘Old Lives Matter’ Campaign to Celebrate Trump’s Age
In a spectacular reversal that has left both critics and supporters bewildered, the GOP has unveiled its latest initiative: the…
Read MoreJoe Biden Drops Out of 2024 Election to Focus on Mumble Rap Career
In a stunning announcement that has left both the political and music worlds reeling, President Joe Biden has declared his…
Read MoreTrump Pledges to Build Wall Around Himself, Claims Biden Will Foot the Bill
In a theatrical twist on his infamous border wall promise, Donald Trump announced plans to construct a “beautiful, impenetrable wall”…
Read MoreDid Trump’s “Shoot Pedophiles” Order Backfire Spectacularly?
In an ironic and tragic twist, Donald Trump’s hardline stance on gun rights and vigilante justice has come back to…
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