Biden So Colorblind, He Fails to See His Own Red Lines
Polly TickleIn an astonishing display of diplomatic colorblindness, President Joe Biden has managed to completely overlook his administration’s previously declared “red…
Read MoreMTG Caught in Plan of Sacrificing Intern to Elder Gods in Exchange for Middling Poll Results
In a shocking turn of events, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene was embroiled in a scandal that sounds more like the…
Read MoreUber to Launch New Service: UberHuman, Rent a Crowd for Any Occasion
Chip ByteleyUber, that ubiquitous app known for delivering rides and takeout, is about to take a sharp turn into the realm…
Read MoreCongress Debates Installing Lie Detectors in Senate Chamber
In an unprecedented turn of events that has political pundits chuckling and conspiracy theorists taking notes, Congress is debating the…
Read MorePoliticians to Wear Sponsored Jerseys: A New Era of Transparency in Funding
In a move that’s being hailed as a game-changer for political transparency, lawmakers across the globe have agreed to a…
Read MoreAntarctica Declares Independence, Elects Penguin as President
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the international community and wildlife documentaries alike, Antarctica has declared its independence…
Read MoreGlobal Leaders Announce Ambitious Plan to Solve World Hunger by Misplacing Another Continent
In a bold move that has left cartographers and global citizens alike scratching their heads, world leaders have unveiled their…
Read MoreIsrael’s Ceasefire Strategy: Agree in Principle, Decline in Practice
In a striking display of diplomatic dexterity, Israel’s approach to ceasefire negotiations could best be described as “Agree in Principle,…
Read MoreAmerica’s ‘Surprise’ Routine Wears Thin as Ally Ignores Ceasefire Pleas
In an all-too-familiar scenario, America’s feigned shock has once again graced international headlines as its closest ally, Israel, dismisses yet…
Read MoreDonald Trump’s Facial Tan Revealed to Be Cheesy Doritos Coating
In what can only be described as a snackable revelation, sources close to former President Donald Trump have disclosed the…
Read MoreICC Considers Adding White House to Arrest List Amid ‘Interference Inquiries’
The International Criminal Court (ICC) is reportedly weighing the inclusion of the White House on its list of potential investigations,…
Read MoreSWAT Team Spotted Booking Flights to Antarctica As McMurdo Station Protest Comes To Light
In a stunning development that has sent ripples through both the scientific and law enforcement communities, a team of riot…
Read MoreApple Vision Pro App Turns Political Debates into Mute Pantomimes
In a groundbreaking update that’s sending waves through both tech and political circles, Apple’s latest Vision Pro app feature has…
Read MorePortuguese Far-Right Party to Introduce Mandatory Siesta, Cites Historical Exhaustion
Portugal’s far-right “Partido da Sesta” (Siesta Party) is surging in popularity with its unorthodox central campaign promise: a mandatory siesta…
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New Charity Aims to Raise Financial Aid for the Super Rich
In a heartwarming display of compassion that would make Scrooge blush, the nation’s wealthiest elite have launched a groundbreaking new…
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