Local Teen’s Pregnancy Excuse Kick-starts New Religion
Liv N. LargeIn a small town where nothing extraordinary ever happens, a local teen’s bizarre excuse for an unexpected pregnancy has ignited…
Read MoreIsrael Successfully Converts Millions of Jews to Zionism
Polly TickleIn a calculated move that has sent shockwaves through Jewish communities worldwide, Israel has effectively replaced traditional Judaism with a…
Read MoreAmerican Evangelicals Abandon Jesus After Actually Reading Bible, Still Claim to Be Christian
In what can only be described as a theological plot twist of biblical proportions, American Evangelicals are reportedly distancing themselves…
Read MoreGod Ignores Pope’s Plea for Priests
In a desperate plea to the heavens, Pope Francis has urged religious orders to pray for new priests and nuns…
Read MoreVatican to Consider Priests in Drag, in Push to Recover Community Trust
In a desperate bid to rehabilitate its tarnished image, the Vatican is reportedly contemplating a radical initiative: allowing priests to…
Read MoreMTG Caught in Plan of Sacrificing Intern to Elder Gods in Exchange for Middling Poll Results
In a shocking turn of events, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene was embroiled in a scandal that sounds more like the…
Read MoreTikTok Eyes Divine Intervention to Dodge U.S. Legal Hellfire
Chip ByteleyIn an unexpected move that has shaken the pillars of both Silicon Valley and St. Peter’s Basilica, TikTok has announced…
Read MoreHoly Sauce! Vatican Considers Canonization of Cheesus Crust, Patron Saint of Pizza
The aroma of simmering marinara and rising dough fills the hallowed halls of the Vatican of Pizza, as a weighty…
Read MoreMegachurch Installs “Express Lane” for Donations, Godliness Now Available with Upgrade
In a move that blurs the line between salvation and a theme park ride, a prominent megachurch has announced the…
Read MoreFurry Faith: Pets Mysteriously Embracing Ramadan Traditions
In a heartwarming (and slightly baffling) development, household pets across the globe appear to be observing Ramadan alongside their Muslim…
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