Santa Cancels Operations in Middle East as IDF Fails to Promise Safe Passage
Polly TickleIn an unprecedented move that has left children and parents across the Middle East devastated, Santa Claus has announced that…
Read MoreSupreme Court Set to Approve Elon Musk’s Purchase of the Country
In a development that seems both inevitable and absurd, the Supreme Court is reportedly poised to approve Elon Musk’s audacious…
Read MoreWill Ginger Cows Repair Irish-Israeli Relations?
In a move that has left diplomats and conspiracy theorists alike scratching their heads, Israel has announced that a herd…
Read MoreIsraeli HOA to Govern New Palestinian Leadership in Groundbreaking Initiative
Any newly-formed Palestinian leadership is expected to fall under the governance of an unlikely entity: an Israeli Homeowners’ Association (HOA).…
Read MoreTherapist Accidentally Fixes Client’s Anxiety by Canceling Session for the Fourth Time in a Row
Liv N. LargeIn an unexpected twist that has left both professionals and patients baffled, a local therapist has inadvertently cured her client’s…
Read MoreOpinion: ‘The Best Part of Adult Friendships Is Pretending to Want to Meet Up Someday’
Let’s be honest for a moment: The best part of adult friendships isn’t the shared history, the inside jokes, or…
Read MoreHysterical Man Covered in Cheeto Dust Becomes President of the USA
In an unprecedented twist that left the nation both amused and bewildered, Donald J. Trump has been elected President of…
Read MoreVenom: The Last Dance – Symbiotic Swan Song or Just Another Sequel?
Venom and Eddie Brock return for a final showdown… or maybe just another messy makeout session. Hold onto your brains…
Read MoreDutch Doctor Shocks Scientists by Curing Death with Paracetamol
In a groundbreaking yet wildly controversial medical revelation, Dr. Hans Van Der Snuffelen, a Dutch physician, has purportedly cured death…
Read MoreVision Pro Just a Demo of Tim Cook’s ‘Cyborg’ Eye, According to Leak
Chip ByteleyIn a revelation that’s turning the tech world on its head, a leaked report suggests that Apple’s much-hyped Vision Pro…
Read MoreJoe Biden to Invite God to Gaza Peace Talks
In a move that has political analysts scratching their heads and theologians intrigued, President Joe Biden has announced his intentions…
Read MoreLocal Teen’s Pregnancy Excuse Kick-starts New Religion
In a small town where nothing extraordinary ever happens, a local teen’s bizarre excuse for an unexpected pregnancy has ignited…
Read MoreNorthern England Welcomes Tourism Boost Through ‘Poverty Tourism’
In a bid to revitalize its struggling economy, Northern England has turned to an unusual new industry: “poverty tourism.” This…
Read MoreSupreme Court Votes 5-4 to Bring Back the 19th Century
In a shocking and highly controversial decision, the Supreme Court has narrowly voted 5-4 to roll back American society to…
Read MoreMeta VR Headsets Have Hidden Lizard Mode for Mark Zuckerberg
DominickIn a revelation that’s sure to fuel countless conspiracy theories, reports have surfaced that Meta’s VR headsets come equipped with…
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