Start-Up Launches Service to Rent Your Family for Holiday Gatherings
Chip ByteleyGet ready for the ultimate holiday survival tactic: a new start-up is cashing in on family dysfunction, offering a “Rent-a-Family”…
Read MoreIrish Far Right Can Finally Spend Time with Family They Ignored, After Election Disaster
Polly TickleIn a heartwarming turn of events for their long-neglected families, members of Ireland’s far right will now have ample time…
Read MoreLocal Introvert Practices Open-Eye Meditation in Preparation for Christmas
Liv N. LargeWith the holiday season fast approaching, local introvert Jenna Harper has begun her annual ritual of open-eye meditation, a technique…
Read MoreThanksgiving Table Finally Breaks After Years of Supporting Generations of Emotional Baggage
In what some are calling a long-overdue collapse, the Johnson family’s Thanksgiving table, a 50-year-old oak relic, finally buckled under…
Read MoreICC Suddenly Remembers International Law Applies to Israel Too
In a groundbreaking move that shocked absolutely everyone, the International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued arrest warrants for Israeli Prime…
Read MoreSanta Cancels Operations in Middle East as IDF Fails to Promise Safe Passage
In an unprecedented move that has left children and parents across the Middle East devastated, Santa Claus has announced that…
Read MoreSupreme Court Set to Approve Elon Musk’s Purchase of the Country
In a development that seems both inevitable and absurd, the Supreme Court is reportedly poised to approve Elon Musk’s audacious…
Read MoreWill Ginger Cows Repair Irish-Israeli Relations?
In a move that has left diplomats and conspiracy theorists alike scratching their heads, Israel has announced that a herd…
Read MoreIsraeli HOA to Govern New Palestinian Leadership in Groundbreaking Initiative
Any newly-formed Palestinian leadership is expected to fall under the governance of an unlikely entity: an Israeli Homeowners’ Association (HOA).…
Read MoreTherapist Accidentally Fixes Client’s Anxiety by Canceling Session for the Fourth Time in a Row
In an unexpected twist that has left both professionals and patients baffled, a local therapist has inadvertently cured her client’s…
Read MoreOpinion: ‘The Best Part of Adult Friendships Is Pretending to Want to Meet Up Someday’
Let’s be honest for a moment: The best part of adult friendships isn’t the shared history, the inside jokes, or…
Read MoreHysterical Man Covered in Cheeto Dust Becomes President of the USA
In an unprecedented twist that left the nation both amused and bewildered, Donald J. Trump has been elected President of…
Read MoreVenom: The Last Dance – Symbiotic Swan Song or Just Another Sequel?
Venom and Eddie Brock return for a final showdown… or maybe just another messy makeout session. Hold onto your brains…
Read MoreDutch Doctor Shocks Scientists by Curing Death with Paracetamol
In a groundbreaking yet wildly controversial medical revelation, Dr. Hans Van Der Snuffelen, a Dutch physician, has purportedly cured death…
Read MoreVision Pro Just a Demo of Tim Cook’s ‘Cyborg’ Eye, According to Leak
In a revelation that’s turning the tech world on its head, a leaked report suggests that Apple’s much-hyped Vision Pro…
Read More