Israel Declares Hamas Leaders as Jewish in Response to ICC Arrest Warrants
Polly TickleIn an unprecedented twist of irony and geopolitical theater, Israel has responded to the International Criminal Court’s (ICC) issuance of…
Read MoreUS Announces New Foreign Policy: Sanctioning Anyone Who Tries to Hold Us Accountable
In a bold and somewhat baffling move, the United States has unveiled a new foreign policy initiative: sanctioning any international…
Read More9 Years After Gay Marriage Passed, All Ireland Now Gay
In a development that has shocked absolutely no one, Ireland, nine years after legalizing gay marriage, has reportedly seen its…
Read MoreScientists Announce Microplastics as the New Superfood: Part of Your Daily Detox!
Chip ByteleyIn an unprecedented turn of events, scientists have discovered the latest addition to the health food craze: microplastics. These tiny…
Read MoreLindsey Graham Proposes Invasion of Netherlands: “ICC Can’t Arrest Us If We Own Them”
In a spectacular display of international diplomacy, Senator Lindsey Graham has proposed that the United States should invade the Netherlands…
Read More“Oh, Great”: Sarcasm to Debut as Olympic Sport in 2024, IOC Confirms
The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has officially announced the inclusion of Sarcasm as a competitive sport in the 2024 Olympics.…
Read MoreFox News to Include ‘Trigger Alerts’ for Unfavorable Economic Forecasts
In a move that blurs the line between news reporting and emotional coddling, Fox News is set to roll out…
Read MoreOfficial Book Club Licenses to be Required in state of Texas
DominickTexas Takes on Literature: State Mandates Official Licenses for Book Club Enthusiasts In a move that’s set off a firestorm…
Read MoreBrooklyn Apartment, Smaller Than Shoebox, Listed for $2 Million (Views of Brick Wall Included)
In a move that defies both logic and the concept of affordability, a real estate listing has sent New York…
Read MoreDublin-New York Omegle Experiment Reopens
After a hiatus marked by controversy and lewd behavior, the Dublin-New York portal has officially reopened, promising a renewed and…
Read MoreGoogle’s Mental Health Masterplan: Wellness Days That Guarantee More Stress
Google, in a display of corporate doublethink that would impress even George Orwell, has unveiled a new mental health initiative…
Read MoreIsraeli PM Netanyahu Accuses ICC of Colluding with Hamas
Tel Aviv, Israel – In a dramatic escalation of rhetoric, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has accused the International Criminal…
Read MoreIsraeli Officials Insist Fog Operated Independently, No Mossad Ties
Tel Aviv, Israel – In a press conference today, Israeli officials emphatically denied any involvement in the recent helicopter crash…
Read MoreLocal Mom Saves Town from Economic Collapse by Actually Shopping Locally
In an extraordinary sequence of events, one local mother has effectively warded off an economic crisis in her small town…
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“Quirky” Coffee Shop Charges Extra for Customers Who Don’t Use Obscure Coffee Lingo
In a move that’s likely to alienate caffeine-fueled patrons and baristas alike, a trendy new coffee shop has ruffled feathers…
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