Airports Introduce ‘Security PreCheck’ for Those Who Donate to TSA
DominickThe Transportation Security Administration (TSA) appears to be taking airport security to a whole new (and highly questionable) level. Following…
Read MoreFarming Simulator ‘25 To Feature Disruptive Protesting
Chip ByteleyGet ready to ditch your plow and pick up a protest sign! The surprisingly popular Farming Simulator series is about…
Read MoreAmerican Hospitals to Charge Patients for Time Spent in Waiting Rooms
Polly TickleAmerican healthcare seems intent on pushing the boundaries of the absurd, and the latest news suggests they’ve found a new…
Read MoreShein Research Clothes That Dissolve in Rain to Boost Sales
Forget poor quality or questionable labor practices. The latest controversy surrounding fast fashion giant Shein takes a bizarrely self-destructive turn.…
Read MoreNational Library Service to Begin Door-to-Door Book Deliveries by Drones
Calling all bookworms, bibliophiles, and literature lovers! The National Library Service (NLS) is about to take book borrowing to new…
Read MoreTesco to Require Background Checks for Clubcard Loyalty Program
Tesco, the UK’s beloved grocery giant, has unveiled a shocking new addition to their iconic Clubcard loyalty program: mandatory background…
Read MoreBritish Airways to Replace Boarding Passes with Facial Recognition Tattoos
British Airways is taking a futuristic and slightly unsettling approach to streamlining the boarding process. In a trial program that…
Read MoreHas the USA Accidentally Creates Time Warp, Briefly Reverting to Extreme 1950s Politic Trends? This Scientist Thinks So
In a theory straight out of a sci-fi B-movie, an eccentric scientist claims the United States is experiencing a temporary…
Read MoreArea Dad Achieves Peak Performance by Correctly Grilling Entire Pack of Hot Dogs on First Try
In a feat of backyard brilliance that sent shockwaves through the neighborhood, local dad, Tom Weber, cemented his status as…
Read MoreMicrosoft to Insert Ads into Your Powerpoint Presentations
In what could be hailed as the most innovative disruption to office productivity since the invention of the clip-on tie,…
Read MoreGreg Abbott Announces Support for Terrorism
AUSTIN, Texas – In a surprising and controversial development, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has garnered widespread attention with a recent…
Read MoreUSA & Israel Celebrate “Freedom of Press Day” by Arresting Journalists and Shutting Down News Outlets
In a performance worthy of a standing ovation from George Orwell himself, today marked the nationwide spectacle of “Freedom of…
Read MoreBiden So Colorblind, He Fails to See His Own Red Lines
In an astonishing display of diplomatic colorblindness, President Joe Biden has managed to completely overlook his administration’s previously declared “red…
Read MoreTokyo Zoo to Start Animal Borrowing Program for Pet-Less Homes
Get ready for Tokyo’s newest, cuddliest delivery service! In a move that’s both innovative and incredibly heartwarming, the Tokyo Zoo…
Read More“My Smart Home Hates Me”: When A.I. Goes Rogue and Your Toaster Judges You
When your house knows more about your preferences than you do, we’ve stumbled upon an inconvenient truth: artificial intelligence doesn’t…
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