Delayed Reaction: Uvalde’s Echo Spurs Police into Action… Against Progressive Protesters
Polly TickleIn a move that stunned both protesters and police critics alike, law enforcement finally found its sense of urgency this…
Read MoreIsrael Determined to Increase the Need for Food Aid
In a controversial and startling turn of events, Israeli officials have unveiled a plan to “increase the need for food…
Read More9 Signs You’ve Reached Peak Adulthood
Chip ByteleyReaching “peak adulthood” isn’t marked by a particular age or milestone, but rather a series of subtle, often hilarious signs…
Read MoreSWAT Team Spotted Booking Flights to Antarctica As McMurdo Station Protest Comes To Light
In a stunning development that has sent ripples through both the scientific and law enforcement communities, a team of riot…
Read MoreArcheology Team Stumbles Upon Ancient Egyptian Fast Food Joint, Finding Perfectly Preserved Falafel
In a remarkable twist of fate, the world of archaeology has been turned upside down, or perhaps we should say,…
Read MoreUS Pledges to Sanction ICC, Citing ‘Too Many Warrants, Not Enough Freedom’
In a bold and unprecedented move, the United States has vowed to sanction the International Criminal Court (ICC), asserting that…
Read MoreNew Parenting Trend: Letting Pets Raise Your Kids
Forget meticulously planned schedules and structured activities, there’s a new parenting philosophy sweeping the nation, and it’s got four paws…
Read MoreNetanyahu and Co. Might Be Safe from ICC for Now, Thanks to Washington’s Intervention
In an unprecedented display of geopolitical maneuvering, the United States administration has launched what insiders are calling “Operation Justice Jam,”…
Read MoreTop 10 Signs You’re Turning Into Your Parents
Recognizing the signs that you’re turning into your parents can be a startling revelation. Whether it’s your sudden affection for…
Read MoreMiami Public Transit Systems to Introduce Silent Carriages for Introverts
Miami, the vibrant, energetic city known for its pulsing music scene and enthusiastic crowds, is about to offer a surprising…
Read MoreOxycontin Blamed for Decline in Lava Lamp Sales
In a twist that no one saw coming—except perhaps the most ardent of conspiracy theorists—it appears that Oxycontin, the controversial…
Read MoreGovernments to Pump Air into Currency to Increase Value
Desperate Times, Desperate Measures? Governments Eye “Inflation Reversal” by Literally Inflating Currency In a move that seems ripped from a…
Read MoreSoftware Update Allows Samsung Smart Fridges to Feel Lonely
In what might seem like a scene from a futuristic sci-fi flick, Samsung smart fridges are set to tap into…
Read MoreLocal Man Declares Bankruptcy from Buying Avocados
In a tale that speaks to the harsh economic realities faced by an entire generation, a local man, identified only…
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Study Finds 9 out of 10 Americans Prefer Their Own Facts
A new study published in the esteemed journal “Not The Onion” has revealed a startling truth about the American public:…
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