Work Emails to Auto-Delete if Not Read Within 24 Hours, Gmail Announces
Chip ByteleyGet ready for inbox mayhem, courtesy of Gmail! Their latest feature promises to revolutionize email as we know it –…
Read MoreStudy Finds People Who Insist on “No Spoilers” Are Most Likely to Accidentally Spoil Things for Others
In a twist of ironic fate, a new study has revealed a shocking truth: those who loudly demand protection from…
Read MoreNetanyahu Announces “New Security Threat”: Anyone Who Doesn’t Share His Latest Tweet
Polly TickleIsraeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has declared a “new security threat” to the nation: anyone who fails to share his…
Read MoreNetanyahu’s New Strategy: If We’re Losing, It’s Because We Didn’t Enter Rafah
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s recent unveiling of a new approach to Israel’s security and military posture has not just made…
Read MoreResearchers Announce Breakthrough: Earth is Flat, But Only on Tuesdays
In a discovery that overturns centuries of physics and has cartographers desperately re-drawing their maps, a team of researchers has…
Read MoreHistory Class Debate Over Whether TikTok Counts as a Primary Source Rages for Weeks
In a clash of generational paradigms, a history class at has been embroiled in a fiery debate for weeks over…
Read MoreTop 10 Reasons Your Houseplant Hates You (And May Be Plotting a Slow, Leafy Revenge)
Think your fiddle leaf fig is just being dramatic when those leaves start drooping? Wrong. Those are silent screams of…
Read MoreFDA Approves First Ever Subscription-Based Food Pyramid
In a revolutionary move that has dietitians throwing their kale smoothies against the wall in frustration, the FDA has announced…
Read MoreMr. Beast to Team With Elon Musk’s SpaceX For First Moon Based Youtube Challenge
In an audacious leap beyond Earth-bound stunts, YouTube sensation Mr. Beast has partnered with SpaceX to launch what promises to…
Read MoreFIFA To Add Therapist to Referee Roster?
In a move that underscores just how emotionally turbulent the world’s most popular sport can be, FIFA has announced a…
Read MoreGlobal Tech Giants Announce Joint Venture to Develop AI That Understands Sarcasm
In a move that seems destined for epic failure, tech behemoths worldwide are joining forces in a quixotic attempt to…
Read MoreGovernment Announces Plan to Convert National Debt into a Cryptocurrency: ‘DebtCoin’
In a move that has economists scratching their heads and tech bros cheering, the government has announced a radical plan…
Read MoreProsecutors Consider Using Reverse Psychology: ‘Please Don’t Confess, Mr. Trump’
In a novel approach that could only arise from the most surreal chapters of legal textbooks, prosecutors in the trial…
Read MoreThe Introvert’s Guide to Socializing: Tips for Surviving Parties, Small Talk, and the Dreaded “So, What Do You Do?” Question
If the idea of mingling sends shivers down your spine, you’re not alone. For us introverts, social gatherings can feel…
Read MoreTikTok To Alert Users When They’ve Been Offline for More Than an Hour
In a move that has absolutely nothing to do with fostering addiction and everything to do with genuine care for…
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