UK Attempts to Soften Image of Colonial Past: ‘It Was More of a Cultural Exchange,’ Claims Education Secretary.
Polly TickleIn a satirical twist that seems to leap from the pages of a dystopian novel on historical revisionism, the UK’s…
Read MoreInternational Outrage as Iran Forgets to Check Who’s Allowed to Strike First
In an apparent blunder of international proportions, Iran has incited a flurry of global finger-wagging not merely for its use…
Read MoreNetanyahu Refuses Early Election Calls, Says Only War Decides Leadership
In a bold move that has historians scrambling to check if Sparta has somehow taken over modern democracy, Prime Minister…
Read MoreUS Nervously Calls New Israeli Settlements ‘Inconsistent’ with International Law
In what could only be termed as the diplomatic equivalent of saying “I’m not mad, just disappointed,” the United States…
Read MoreIran Accused of Breaking ‘Unspoken Rules’ by Responding to Attacks
In the latest chapter of the Middle East saga, Iran’s recent retaliation against Israeli aggression has raised more than just…
Read MoreGlobal Leaders Agree: ‘Only Some Countries Get the Self-Defense Card’
In a stunning but unsurprising revelation, the international community has updated its unwritten rulebook, clearly delineating that the ‘self-defense’ argument…
Read MoreBoston Marathon Runners Now Required to Carry Sponsors on Their Backs for the Entire Race
Chip ByteleyThe Boston Marathon, traditionally a test of human endurance and willpower, has jettisoned its esteemed history for a model that’s…
Read MoreWorld’s Billionaires Race to Escape Earth: ‘It’s Not You, It’s Us’
In an unfolding drama that feels more like a cosmic soap opera than reality, the world’s billionaires are in a…
Read MoreBritain to Allow Toddlers to Lead Parliament in Attempt to Bring Maturity into House
Westminster, UK – In what’s being hailed as a bold step towards responsible governance, toddlers across the nation are being…
Read MoreIs Gaza’s Hospital Outage an Israeli Bid for a New Guinness World Record?
In a world where records are broken every day—from the longest pizza to the most people twerking simultaneously—rumors have emerged…
Read MoreIrish Weather Forecaster Apologizes for Surprise Sunshine, Promises Return to “Proper Gloom” Soon
“Sorry About That!” – Irish Weatherman Begs Forgiveness for Accidental Sunshine Dublin, Ireland – In a rare and somber address,…
Read MoreO.J. Simpson Loses Last Appeal as Cancer Pleads the Fifth
In an unscripted final act, O.J. Simpson, the once-glorified NFL star turned infamous defendant, has lost his last appeal in…
Read MoreBiden’s Balancing Act: Juggling Calls for Ceasefire with a $16 Billion Grenade
In an audacious blend of tragicomedy and technological farce, the world witnessed a “GPS Gone Wild” episode, as a high-tech…
Read MoreMiracle Diet Pill Discovered: Simply Swallow Your Pride
Scientists have announced the discovery of a revolutionary new diet pill that promises significant weight loss with minimal effort. The…
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The Gaza Diet: IDF Praises benefits of eating grass
Touted as the cutting-edge in involuntary weight loss, the “Gaza Diet” emerges from the world’s most contested open-air locale, presenting…
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