Tech Companies to Introduce ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ App for Disaster Response
Polly TickleIn a move that can only be described as peak Silicon Valley cynicism, tech giants have unveiled a groundbreaking new…
Read MoreMeghan Markle’s Avocado Toast Causes Global Butter Shortage, Sparks Royal Feud
Hold the Avocado! Meghan Sparks Royal Rift and Global Crisis with Toast Obsession Buckingham Palace is in a state of…
Read MoreIDF Develops New Cyberweapon: Deploys Sarcastic Reddit Bots to Sow Confusion Among Enemies
Chip ByteleyIn a groundbreaking development in the realm of cyber warfare, the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) have unveiled their latest strategic…
Read MoreIrish Dance Competition Turns Vicious as Parents Dispute Authenticity of Each Other’s Spray Tans
What began as a celebration of intricate footwork and questionable fashion choices descended into chaos at the regional Irish Dance…
Read MoreAdulting School for Millennials: Mastering Life One Class at a Time
In an age where “adulting” can seem like a daunting task, a new institution is opening its doors to those…
Read MoreRed Planet Realty Rockets: Billionaires Buzz Over Martian Lakefront Properties
In a development that’s literally out of this world, the recent confirmation of a Martian lake has ignited an intergalactic…
Read MoreNew Self-Help Book Teaches How to Overthink More Efficiently
Sick of scattered ruminations? Tired of wasting time on unproductive mental spirals? Well, fret no more! The latest self-help phenomenon,…
Read MoreAI Panelist Wins Game Design Contest: Organizers Debate Award Eligibility
“Skynet Takes Over…Game Design?” AI Victory Sparks Contest Controversy SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The annual Indie Game Design Jamboree ended…
Read MoreBiden Trips On Escalator, Blames Turbulance in Confusion
In an event that’s already becoming fodder for late-night talk shows and social media memes, President Joe Biden experienced a…
Read MoreGourmet Water: The Latest in Liquid Luxury You Can’t Afford
Move over, artisanal coffee and $20 avocado toast. There’s a new status symbol in town: gourmet water. Yes, you read…
Read More8 Irrational Fears Everyone Secretly Has (Escalators eating your shoelaces, the random creak at night…)
It’s the middle of the night, and you’re about to drift off into a peaceful slumber when suddenly… creak. Your…
Read MoreArchaeologists Discover Ancient Ruins of International Law in Gaza, UN Claims They’re Just Modern Art
In a groundbreaking discovery that has left historians and political analysts scratching their heads, a team of archaeologists in Gaza…
Read MoreAI’s Election Meddling Gets Upgrade: Now Capable of Running for Office Itself
In an astonishing twist to the age-old tale of election meddling, Artificial Intelligences across the globe have received a software…
Read MorePersonal Finance Guru Admits: ‘Just Inherit Money, It’s Easier’
Self-proclaimed money guru Harold “Buck” Buckley has admitted that his decades of advice on budgeting, saving, and investing are essentially…
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New Study Finds: Pub Regulars May Live Longer Thanks to Daily Dose of Sarcasm
In a discovery that will surely raise pints of celebration across the land, a groundbreaking new study has revealed a…
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