French Bulldogs to Lead International French Language Day Parade: Finally, a Role That Speaks to Them
Chip ByteleyMove over, esteemed linguists and poets! This year, the International French Language Day Parade will be spearheaded by a rather…
Read MoreThe Unsolvable Puzzle of Adulting: Why We’re All Faking It
There’s an unspoken agreement when you leave adolescence – someone, somewhere hands you a mysterious instruction manual titled “Adulting for…
Read MoreInternational Community Sends Putin Congratulations, Along with a Dictionary Definition of ‘Election
Polly TickleIn an unprecedented display of global camaraderie—or perhaps, satire—the international community has come together to congratulate Vladimir Putin on his…
Read MoreFasting Fitness Tracker Released: Vibrates If You Reach for Snacks Pre-Iftar
In a fusion of modern technology and traditional religious observance, tech giant InnoTrack has released a groundbreaking new fitness wearable…
Read MoreGDC Introduces ‘Real-Time Content Creation’: Attendees to Develop Next AAA Game During Conference
In a move that blurs the line between ambition and absurdity, the organizers of the prestigious Game Developers Conference (GDC)…
Read MorePutin Announces New Vacation Spot: Eastern Ukraine “Has Surprisingly Affordable Summer Rentals”
In a statement that has left the international community flabbergasted, Russian President Vladimir Putin has highlighted Eastern Ukraine as the…
Read MoreGenerative AI Creates Game on Spot: Developers Concerned About Job Security and Inconsistencies in Plot
The world of game development is facing a seismic shift as generative AI tools become increasingly sophisticated. While some see…
Read More‘Path Tracing the Buffet Line’: GDC to Use Latest Ray Tracing Tech to Optimize Lunch Queues
In a move that’s simultaneously baffling and oddly inspired, the organizers of the prestigious Game Developers Conference (GDC) have announced…
Read MorePolice Issue Over 300 Citations for Inappropriate Use of Shamrock-Shaped Sunglasses This Paddy’s Day
In a crackdown on questionable fashion choices and a surprising display of sartorial policing, police departments across the nation found…
Read More‘Fasting Influencers’ Take Over Social Media: Sponsored Suhoor Smoothies Anyone?
“Hangry? Try This $30 Protein Shake!” Fasting Influencers Colonize Social Feeds Just when you thought the social media wellness sphere…
Read MoreSober St. Patrick’s Day” Movement Gains Traction, Promptly Abandoned After Two Hours of Boredom
In a misguided attempt to inject a dose of mindfulness into the chaos of March 17th, the “Sober St. Patrick’s…
Read MoreIrish Expats Worldwide Discover That No Other Country Knows How to Celebrate St. Paddy’s Day Properly
Every March 17th, as the world turns a questionable shade of green, Irish expats embark on a quest of both…
Read MoreFight Islamophobia Day Cancelled, Israel Claims It’s Antisemitic
The annual Fight Islamophobia Day campaign has been unexpectedly thrust into controversy after the Israeli Ministry of Culture issued a…
Read MoreRussia Introduces World’s First ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Election
In a bold move that has game theorists and political pundits alike scrambling for their textbooks, Russia has unveiled the…
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New App Promises to Find the Trendiest Brunch Spot Before Anyone Else Knows It Exists
Tired of endlessly scrolling through brunch photos on social media, only to arrive at overcrowded hotspots with hour-long waits for…
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