‘Path Tracing the Buffet Line’: GDC to Use Latest Ray Tracing Tech to Optimize Lunch Queues
Chip ByteleyIn a move that’s simultaneously baffling and oddly inspired, the organizers of the prestigious Game Developers Conference (GDC) have announced…
Read MorePolice Issue Over 300 Citations for Inappropriate Use of Shamrock-Shaped Sunglasses This Paddy’s Day
Polly TickleIn a crackdown on questionable fashion choices and a surprising display of sartorial policing, police departments across the nation found…
Read More‘Fasting Influencers’ Take Over Social Media: Sponsored Suhoor Smoothies Anyone?
“Hangry? Try This $30 Protein Shake!” Fasting Influencers Colonize Social Feeds Just when you thought the social media wellness sphere…
Read MoreSober St. Patrick’s Day” Movement Gains Traction, Promptly Abandoned After Two Hours of Boredom
In a misguided attempt to inject a dose of mindfulness into the chaos of March 17th, the “Sober St. Patrick’s…
Read MoreIrish Expats Worldwide Discover That No Other Country Knows How to Celebrate St. Paddy’s Day Properly
Every March 17th, as the world turns a questionable shade of green, Irish expats embark on a quest of both…
Read MoreFight Islamophobia Day Cancelled, Israel Claims It’s Antisemitic
The annual Fight Islamophobia Day campaign has been unexpectedly thrust into controversy after the Israeli Ministry of Culture issued a…
Read MoreRussia Introduces World’s First ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Election
In a bold move that has game theorists and political pundits alike scrambling for their textbooks, Russia has unveiled the…
Read MoreInstant Iftar Meal Kits Flop: ‘Just Add Water’ Concept Confuses Many
The promise of a hassle-free Ramadan experience fell flat with the launch of instant Iftar meal kits. Marketed as the…
Read MoreRussian Elections Announce New Breakthrough in Predictive Technology: Winners Declared Before Voting Begins
Russian officials have proudly announced a revolutionary breakthrough in predictive technology: the ability to declare election winners before the cumbersome…
Read MoreVaccine Does Half the Job, CDC Half-Excited
DominickWith precision that could only be described as “mathematically muddled,” this latest statistic has plunged the public into a semi-state…
Read MoreFurry Faith: Pets Mysteriously Embracing Ramadan Traditions
In a heartwarming (and slightly baffling) development, household pets across the globe appear to be observing Ramadan alongside their Muslim…
Read MoreCorporate America Achieves Peak Self-Awareness: Offers Mental Health Days to Recover from…More Corporate Meetings
In a move baffling both mental health professionals and office-dwellers alike, corporations nationwide have begun a curious new initiative: offering…
Read MoreYour Ramadan Sleeping Habits Just Got an Upgrade: “Fasting Friendly” Alarm Clock Promises Uninterrupted Slumber
In a move that blends spiritual mindfulness with cutting-edge laziness technology, a new tech company is causing a stir with…
Read MorePortugal’s Political Parties Consider Group Therapy After Election
Burnt Out and Bitter: Portuguese Politicians Seek Post-Election Counseling After a particularly grueling election cycle marked by mudslinging, social media…
Read More‘Work from Home’ to Evolve into ‘Work from Reality’ With Virtual Reality Integration
The boundaries between our physical and digital workspaces are blurring, as employers and tech giants are betting big on a…
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