Valve Confirms: Your Steam Games Will Be Supported in the Afterlife
Chip ByteleyIn a surprising move that blurs the line between the digital and the divine, Valve has announced that gamers need…
Read MoreFuture iPhones to Automatically Delete Neglected Contacts
In a move guaranteed to either streamline your life or trigger an existential crisis about the fleeting nature of modern…
Read MoreUS Census to Include Questions on Netflix Viewing Habits to Better Understand Population Trends
The next time you gear up for a marathon streaming session, remember this: The US Census Bureau might be taking…
Read MoreDublin-New York Omegle Experiment Reopens
After a hiatus marked by controversy and lewd behavior, the Dublin-New York portal has officially reopened, promising a renewed and…
Read MoreGoogle’s Mental Health Masterplan: Wellness Days That Guarantee More Stress
Polly TickleGoogle, in a display of corporate doublethink that would impress even George Orwell, has unveiled a new mental health initiative…
Read MoreFarming Simulator ‘25 To Feature Disruptive Protesting
Get ready to ditch your plow and pick up a protest sign! The surprisingly popular Farming Simulator series is about…
Read MoreShein Research Clothes That Dissolve in Rain to Boost Sales
Forget poor quality or questionable labor practices. The latest controversy surrounding fast fashion giant Shein takes a bizarrely self-destructive turn.…
Read MoreMicrosoft to Insert Ads into Your Powerpoint Presentations
In what could be hailed as the most innovative disruption to office productivity since the invention of the clip-on tie,…
Read More“My Smart Home Hates Me”: When A.I. Goes Rogue and Your Toaster Judges You
When your house knows more about your preferences than you do, we’ve stumbled upon an inconvenient truth: artificial intelligence doesn’t…
Read MoreTinder Dating Algorithms To Match Users Based on Mutual Trauma
Tinder just got a whole lot more emotionally complex. In a move that’s either disturbingly brilliant or a sign of…
Read MoreInternet Pop Ups Find New Life in Elon Musk’s Neuralink
In an unexpected twist of technological evolution, the once dreaded internet pop-up ads have found a new arena: Elon Musk’s…
Read MoreUber to Launch New Service: UberHuman, Rent a Crowd for Any Occasion
Uber, that ubiquitous app known for delivering rides and takeout, is about to take a sharp turn into the realm…
Read MoreAfter Buying Everything Else, Jeff Bezos Purchases Atlantic Ocean
In an unprecedented move that has stunned environmentalists and monopolists alike, Jeff Bezos, the former Amazon CEO known for acquiring…
Read MoreDoes Your Apple Watch Get Sad When Not Worn?
As our tech gadgets get smarter, it’s easy to wonder if they start developing sentience and maybe even a hint…
Read MoreGmail Password Resets Now Require a Doctor’s Note and a Small Sacrifice
In an unusual twist on cybersecurity measures, Google has introduced a perplexing new policy for Gmail password resets: forgotten passwords…
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