Thanksgiving Table Finally Breaks After Years of Supporting Generations of Emotional Baggage
Liv N. LargeIn what some are calling a long-overdue collapse, the Johnson family’s Thanksgiving table, a 50-year-old oak relic, finally buckled under…
Read MoreICC Suddenly Remembers International Law Applies to Israel Too
Polly TickleIn a groundbreaking move that shocked absolutely everyone, the International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued arrest warrants for Israeli Prime…
Read MoreSupreme Court Set to Approve Elon Musk’s Purchase of the Country
In a development that seems both inevitable and absurd, the Supreme Court is reportedly poised to approve Elon Musk’s audacious…
Read MoreHysterical Man Covered in Cheeto Dust Becomes President of the USA
In an unprecedented twist that left the nation both amused and bewildered, Donald J. Trump has been elected President of…
Read MoreJoe Biden to Invite God to Gaza Peace Talks
In a move that has political analysts scratching their heads and theologians intrigued, President Joe Biden has announced his intentions…
Read MoreLocal Teen’s Pregnancy Excuse Kick-starts New Religion
In a small town where nothing extraordinary ever happens, a local teen’s bizarre excuse for an unexpected pregnancy has ignited…
Read MoreSupreme Court Votes 5-4 to Bring Back the 19th Century
In a shocking and highly controversial decision, the Supreme Court has narrowly voted 5-4 to roll back American society to…
Read MoreElon Musk and Donald Trump to Escape to Mars if Kamala Wins
The 2024 election could be the most consequential in history—literally out of this world, if the latest rumors are to…
Read MoreUS Military Stocks Up on Sticks and Stones in Preparation for WW4
In an unprecedented move that has left military analysts scratching their heads, the United States Army has announced it is…
Read MoreWe Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
Read MoreUS Decides Rape is Acceptable Military Action
The United States has found a new benchmark for moral flexibility, with its decision to continue funneling military aid to…
Read MoreUS Government Proudly Announces Plan to Shelter All Homeless Veterans in National Forests
Washington, D.C. – In a bold move hailed as a win for both veterans and the environment, the U.S. government…
Read MoreRussia Applies to NATO for Defence Against Ukraine
Russia, a nation renowned for its military prowess and unparalleled ability to invade neighbors, has now found itself in a…
Read More“MyNuggetsMrBigHands”: Iran’s Intelligence Agency Exposes Trump’s Password in Unprecedented Security Breach
DominickIn what can only be described as an explosive revelation, Iran’s intelligence agency has allegedly penetrated the inner workings of…
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Republicans Declare Masturbation a Form of Abortion
In a bold move that has left hands across America either clasped in prayer or firmly in pockets, the Republican…
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