Elon Musk Pledges to End Homelessness by Purchasing the Moon
Polly TickleIn a stunning announcement that left both astronomers and economists scratching their heads, tech magnate Elon Musk has declared his…
Read MoreLegal Experts Baffled as Trump Attempts to Plead ‘Alternative Innocence’
In an unprecedented twist in courtroom strategy, former President Donald Trump has introduced a novel legal concept that has left…
Read MoreVoting to be available via TikTok Polls in Bold Move to Increase Youth Turnout
In a bid to make democracy more “lit” and significantly boost youth voter turnout, authorities have announced a revolutionary new…
Read More‘None of the Above’ Winning in Early Polls
In an unprecedented twist that has both political analysts and satirists rubbing their hands with glee, early polls across the…
Read MoreSelective Memory Syndrome Strikes Global Leaders Following Iranian Retaliation
In what appears to be a sudden outbreak of Selective Memory Syndrome (SMS), world powers have conveniently forgotten recent provocations…
Read MoreUS Requests ‘Polite’ Missile Exchange Between Israel and Iran to Keep Things Civil
In a daring blend of diplomacy and daytime drama, the United States has reportedly asked Iran to entertain a ‘polite’…
Read More‘The Art of the Deal’ 5 Tips Trump Ignored From His Own Book
In an ironic twist of fate that could only be rivaled by a pizza dough spinning out of control, Donald…
Read MoreIran’s Response to Israeli Attack Seen as Gross Violation of Double Standards
In an audacious breach of the established norms of international hypocrisy, Iran’s recent retaliatory actions against Israel have been met…
Read MoreInternational Outrage as Iran Forgets to Check Who’s Allowed to Strike First
In an apparent blunder of international proportions, Iran has incited a flurry of global finger-wagging not merely for its use…
Read MoreUS Nervously Calls New Israeli Settlements ‘Inconsistent’ with International Law
In what could only be termed as the diplomatic equivalent of saying “I’m not mad, just disappointed,” the United States…
Read MoreIran Accused of Breaking ‘Unspoken Rules’ by Responding to Attacks
In the latest chapter of the Middle East saga, Iran’s recent retaliation against Israeli aggression has raised more than just…
Read MoreGlobal Leaders Agree: ‘Only Some Countries Get the Self-Defense Card’
In a stunning but unsurprising revelation, the international community has updated its unwritten rulebook, clearly delineating that the ‘self-defense’ argument…
Read MoreBoston Marathon Runners Now Required to Carry Sponsors on Their Backs for the Entire Race
Chip ByteleyThe Boston Marathon, traditionally a test of human endurance and willpower, has jettisoned its esteemed history for a model that’s…
Read MoreO.J. Simpson Loses Last Appeal as Cancer Pleads the Fifth
In an unscripted final act, O.J. Simpson, the once-glorified NFL star turned infamous defendant, has lost his last appeal in…
Read More
Senate Introduces Bill to Make ‘Unfollowing’ Politicians on Social Media a Federal Offense
In a daring leap towards what can only be described as “compulsory digital loyalty,” the U.S. Senate has unveiled legislation…
Read More