East Palestine Mayor Considers City Rename, ‘East Israel’ Seen As More Accurate
Polly TickleIn a move that has sparked both controversy and curiosity, the Mayor of East Palestine, Ohio, is reportedly considering a…
Read MoreUSA Set To Build And Destroy Aid Port In Gaza?
In a bold move that experts are calling a blend of humanitarian effort and an economic stimulus package for the…
Read MoreCongress to Vote on Declaring the “Chicken Dance” a National Security Threat
In a move that has ruffled feathers across the nation, Congress is set to vote on a resolution that would…
Read MoreFlorida Man Attempts to Pay Taxes with Alligator
Chip ByteleyIn a move that solidifies Florida’s reputation as the epicenter of the bizarre, a resourceful Sunshine State resident attempted to…
Read MoreTech Companies to Introduce ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ App for Disaster Response
In a move that can only be described as peak Silicon Valley cynicism, tech giants have unveiled a groundbreaking new…
Read MoreBiden Trips On Escalator, Blames Turbulance in Confusion
In an event that’s already becoming fodder for late-night talk shows and social media memes, President Joe Biden experienced a…
Read MoreAI’s Election Meddling Gets Upgrade: Now Capable of Running for Office Itself
In an astonishing twist to the age-old tale of election meddling, Artificial Intelligences across the globe have received a software…
Read MoreCanada’s Timing Impeccable as Ever: Ceasing Arms Exports to Israel in a Masterclass of Procrastination
In an unparalleled display of impeccable timing, Canada has finally decided to cease its arms exports to Israel, not in…
Read MoreIn a Twist of Fate, Uncle Sam Swaps Hats: From Roadblock to Peacemaker in Gaza”
In a move as predictable as a plot twist in a daytime soap opera, the United States, previously the lone…
Read MoreSix Nations: Seeking Volunteers to Explain the Rules to Americans
American Newbies Watch, But Who Can Explain the Rules? The annual Six Nations rugby tournament is upon us, and the…
Read MorePresident Biden Uses State of the Union to Unveil New Age-Defying Cream: Promises to Reduce National Debt and Wrinkles
In a history-making (or wrinkle-reducing?) address, President Biden addressed the nation last night, tackling two of America’s most pressing concerns:…
Read MoreNikki Haley Exits Presidential Race, Says She Misread ‘Run for President’ as ‘Run from President’
Nikki Haley, former UN Ambassador and once a promising contender for the Republican presidential nomination, has announced her abrupt withdrawal…
Read MoreDartmouth Hoops Squad Forms Union, Requests Salaries in Pizza Slices and Unlimited Coffee Passes
The Dartmouth Big Green basketball team has officially formed a union. Citing exploitative practices, unreasonable hours, and a concerning lack…
Read MoreU.S. Finally Swipes Right on Ceasefire Proposal After Playing Hard to Get
The United States, in a move akin to a seasoned Tinder pro, has finally swiped right on a ceasefire proposal…
Read MoreTrump and Biden Turn Super Tuesday into Super Smackdown, Wrestle for the Soul of America
In an electrifying turn of events that has taken the political world by storm and possibly rewritten the rules of…
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