Elon Musk to Sue Non-Twitter/X Users for Not Signing Up
Chip ByteleyIn a brilliant twist that only the mastermind behind the Twitter-to-X fiasco could concoct, Elon Musk is now planning to…
Read MoreSouth African Immigrant Promises to Destroy Country
Polly TickleIn a shocking turn of events, Elon Musk, the South African-born billionaire, seems hell-bent on dismantling the very fabric of…
Read MoreUN Unveils ‘Peace Through Pizza’ Program in Desperate Attempt to Recover World Peace
In a world increasingly beset by conflict and division, the United Nations has launched an unconventional and savory new initiative:…
Read MoreNetanyahu Prepares Tel Aviv Population as Human Shield for Possible Iranian Assault
In a paradoxical twist of fate, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is readying Tel Aviv residents for potential Iranian assaults by…
Read MoreIsrael Advocates for Peace Through Assassinations
In a move that has left international observers bewildered, Israel has continued its controversial approach to peace by targeting and…
Read MoreKeir Starmer Advocates for Irish-Led Union to Fix Brexit Mess
In a bold and unprecedented move, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer has proposed a unique solution to the ongoing Brexit…
Read MoreGovernment Announces New Tax on Conspiracy Theorists
The Commission on Presidential Debates has announced that all future presidential debates will now feature live lie detector tests, a…
Read MoreTrump to Identify as Black After Car Crash Interview
In a bizarre twist, former President Donald Trump has announced he will identify as Black following a car crash interview…
Read MoreTrump Takes Up Meditation to Cope with Kamala-Induced Stress
Liv N. LargeIn a surprising and somewhat comical twist, Donald Trump has reportedly turned to meditation to manage his growing anxiety over…
Read MoreFuture Olympians? USA Scouts School Therapy Sessions for Shooting Talent
In a move that’s as controversial as it is desperate, the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) has announced an unorthodox…
Read MoreIron Dome Takes Home Defense Too Literally, Strikes Israeli Cities
In a scenario that sounds more like a dark comedy than a military report, Israel’s Iron Dome defense system recently…
Read MoreTrump Seen Shopping for Shrapnel-proof Vests
In what can only be described as a bold, albeit peculiar, move, former President Donald Trump was recently spotted shopping…
Read MoreMiddle-Eastern Terrorist Arrives to Speak to Congress and White House
In a baffling display of international relations, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, widely criticized and labeled a “Middle-Eastern terrorist” by…
Read MorePolice Implement ‘Shoot First, Ask Questions Later’ Policy for Calls from Black Neighborhoods
In an open acknowledgment of existing biases, police departments across the nation have started implementing a controversial new policy: “Shoot…
Read MoreElon Musk Contributes $45 Million for Trump to Reduce Electric Car Numbers
In a bewildering twist that seems to defy logic and history, Elon Musk has pledged $45 million to support Donald…
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