Middle-Eastern Terrorist Arrives to Speak to Congress and White House
Polly TickleIn a baffling display of international relations, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, widely criticized and labeled a “Middle-Eastern terrorist” by…
Read MorePolice Implement ‘Shoot First, Ask Questions Later’ Policy for Calls from Black Neighborhoods
In an open acknowledgment of existing biases, police departments across the nation have started implementing a controversial new policy: “Shoot…
Read MoreElon Musk Contributes $45 Million for Trump to Reduce Electric Car Numbers
Chip ByteleyIn a bewildering twist that seems to defy logic and history, Elon Musk has pledged $45 million to support Donald…
Read MoreIDF Applauded for ‘Zero Hostage Safety’ Policy in Latest Heroic Mission
In an audacious display of military innovation, the IDF has introduced its groundbreaking “Zero Hostage Safety” policy, a strategy hailed…
Read MorePolice Urge Citizens to Defend Themselves as Calling 911 Now Considered a High-Risk Activity
In a surprising and unsettling development, police departments nationwide have started advising citizens to think twice before calling 911, citing…
Read MoreGOP Launches ‘Old Lives Matter’ Campaign to Celebrate Trump’s Age
In a spectacular reversal that has left both critics and supporters bewildered, the GOP has unveiled its latest initiative: the…
Read MoreJoe Biden Drops Out of 2024 Election to Focus on Mumble Rap Career
In a stunning announcement that has left both the political and music worlds reeling, President Joe Biden has declared his…
Read MoreLeaked Plan Shows Israel Intends to Annex and Occupy ICJ After Reparations Ruling
In a satirical twist on recent events, a leaked document has revealed Israel’s audacious plan to annex and occupy the…
Read MoreSupreme Court Decides Future Laws to be Determined by TruthSocial Polls
In a bewildering decision that has sent shockwaves through the legal and political landscape, the Supreme Court has ruled that…
Read MoreInternational Journalists to Enter Gaza? Israel Promises No Safe Return
In a grim and controversial development, Israel has recently declared that while international journalists will be allowed to enter Gaza,…
Read MoreTrump Pledges to Build Wall Around Himself, Claims Biden Will Foot the Bill
In a theatrical twist on his infamous border wall promise, Donald Trump announced plans to construct a “beautiful, impenetrable wall”…
Read MoreDid Trump’s “Shoot Pedophiles” Order Backfire Spectacularly?
In an ironic and tragic twist, Donald Trump’s hardline stance on gun rights and vigilante justice has come back to…
Read MoreTrump to Fans: ‘Get Over It’ Like It’s a School Shooting
In a bewildering display of insensitivity, Donald Trump brushed off the recent shooting at his Pennsylvania rally, telling fans to…
Read MoreDonald Trump: America’s First King?
In a surreal twist that feels ripped from the pages of a dystopian novel, former President Donald Trump’s potential return…
Read More4th of July Travel Tips: How to Enjoy Fireworks While Avoiding Your Racist Uncle
Liv N. LargeAh, the 4th of July: a day to celebrate America’s independence with fireworks, barbecues, and the uncomfortable presence of that…
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