National Library Service to Begin Door-to-Door Book Deliveries by Drones
Polly TickleCalling all bookworms, bibliophiles, and literature lovers! The National Library Service (NLS) is about to take book borrowing to new…
Read MoreHas the USA Accidentally Creates Time Warp, Briefly Reverting to Extreme 1950s Politic Trends? This Scientist Thinks So
In a theory straight out of a sci-fi B-movie, an eccentric scientist claims the United States is experiencing a temporary…
Read MoreGreg Abbott Announces Support for Terrorism
AUSTIN, Texas – In a surprising and controversial development, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has garnered widespread attention with a recent…
Read MoreUSA & Israel Celebrate “Freedom of Press Day” by Arresting Journalists and Shutting Down News Outlets
In a performance worthy of a standing ovation from George Orwell himself, today marked the nationwide spectacle of “Freedom of…
Read MoreBiden So Colorblind, He Fails to See His Own Red Lines
In an astonishing display of diplomatic colorblindness, President Joe Biden has managed to completely overlook his administration’s previously declared “red…
Read MoreUkraine Resorts to Using Wooden Rifles and Smashed Binoculars in New Ground Defense Strategy
In a response laced with as much irony as innovation, Ukraine has unveiled its latest ground defense strategy titled “Operation…
Read MoreMTG Caught in Plan of Sacrificing Intern to Elder Gods in Exchange for Middling Poll Results
In a shocking turn of events, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene was embroiled in a scandal that sounds more like the…
Read MoreWhite House Installs Revolving Door to Accommodate Rapid Staff Turnover
In a tongue-in-cheek response to the unusually high rate of staff turnover, the White House has reportedly installed an actual…
Read MoreIsrael Rejects Hostage Release Deal, Prefers Military Action Over Peace
In a recent and highly controversial move, the Israeli government has opted to reject a promising hostage release deal proposed…
Read MoreAfter Buying Everything Else, Jeff Bezos Purchases Atlantic Ocean
Chip ByteleyIn an unprecedented move that has stunned environmentalists and monopolists alike, Jeff Bezos, the former Amazon CEO known for acquiring…
Read MoreErdogan Values Resistance Movements, Unless They’re Kurdish
In a remarkable display of selective solidarity, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has once again showcased his unique approach to…
Read MoreCongress Debates Installing Lie Detectors in Senate Chamber
In an unprecedented turn of events that has political pundits chuckling and conspiracy theorists taking notes, Congress is debating the…
Read MoreU.S. Says Weapons in Israel Were ‘Only Sort of’ Used Illegally
In a dazzling display of diplomatic gymnastics, the United States has declared that while its weapons sold to Israel may…
Read MoreGOP Proposes Bill to Outsource Governmental Roles to Russia, Cites ‘Unmatched Efficiency’
The GOP has introduced a groundbreaking bill that proposes outsourcing key governmental roles and responsibilities to Russia, citing “unmatched efficiency”…
Read MoreDemocrats Hope To Turn Tide on Border Security by Literally Doing Nothing
In a move so bewildering that it’s left political commentators gazing at their navels in wonder, the Democratic Party has…
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