Santa Cancels Operations in Middle East as IDF Fails to Promise Safe Passage
Polly TickleIn an unprecedented move that has left children and parents across the Middle East devastated, Santa Claus has announced that…
Read MoreSupreme Court Set to Approve Elon Musk’s Purchase of the Country
In a development that seems both inevitable and absurd, the Supreme Court is reportedly poised to approve Elon Musk’s audacious…
Read MoreWill Ginger Cows Repair Irish-Israeli Relations?
In a move that has left diplomats and conspiracy theorists alike scratching their heads, Israel has announced that a herd…
Read MoreIsraeli HOA to Govern New Palestinian Leadership in Groundbreaking Initiative
Any newly-formed Palestinian leadership is expected to fall under the governance of an unlikely entity: an Israeli Homeowners’ Association (HOA).…
Read MoreHysterical Man Covered in Cheeto Dust Becomes President of the USA
In an unprecedented twist that left the nation both amused and bewildered, Donald J. Trump has been elected President of…
Read MoreLocal Teen’s Pregnancy Excuse Kick-starts New Religion
Liv N. LargeIn a small town where nothing extraordinary ever happens, a local teen’s bizarre excuse for an unexpected pregnancy has ignited…
Read MoreMeta VR Headsets Have Hidden Lizard Mode for Mark Zuckerberg
DominickIn a revelation that’s sure to fuel countless conspiracy theories, reports have surfaced that Meta’s VR headsets come equipped with…
Read MoreElon Musk and Donald Trump to Escape to Mars if Kamala Wins
The 2024 election could be the most consequential in history—literally out of this world, if the latest rumors are to…
Read MoreUS Military Stocks Up on Sticks and Stones in Preparation for WW4
In an unprecedented move that has left military analysts scratching their heads, the United States Army has announced it is…
Read MoreRussian Military Requests Aid from Irish Fishermen as Ukrainian Forces Threaten Crimea
In a bizarre twist to the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the beleaguered Russian military has reportedly turned to…
Read MoreIsrael Successfully Converts Millions of Jews to Zionism
In a calculated move that has sent shockwaves through Jewish communities worldwide, Israel has effectively replaced traditional Judaism with a…
Read MoreWe Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
Read MoreElon Musk Reveals Plans to Host Cabaret Show on X
Chip ByteleyAustin, TX — Just when you thought the world of tech couldn’t get any weirder, Elon Musk has announced his…
Read MoreBomb Craters in Kursk Barely Noticeable Due to Russia’s Preexisting Infrastructure Woes
Kursk, Russia — In what might be the most anticlimactic invasion in recent history, Ukrainian forces found that their bombardment…
Read MoreElon Musk Reveals Twitter’s ‘X’ Stands For ‘Xenophobia’
Elon Musk, never one to shy away from controversy, has dropped a bombshell about his latest rebranding effort: Twitter’s transformation…
Read More