Future Olympians? USA Scouts School Therapy Sessions for Shooting Talent
Polly TickleIn a move that’s as controversial as it is desperate, the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) has announced an unorthodox…
Read MoreThe USA Switches Sides in War on Terror, as Netanyahu Declared Terrorist
In a surprising twist that could have significant geopolitical ramifications, Pakistan has officially declared Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a…
Read MoreGroundbreaking Peace Plan Involves Relocating Gaza Strip to Mars
In a bold and otherworldly proposal that has taken the international community by storm, a consortium of billionaires, space agencies,…
Read MoreIron Dome Takes Home Defense Too Literally, Strikes Israeli Cities
In a scenario that sounds more like a dark comedy than a military report, Israel’s Iron Dome defense system recently…
Read MoreSouth Korea Deadnamed at Olympic Games
Liv N. LargeIn a move that left the world wondering if Olympic organizers were playing a cruel joke or simply geographically challenged,…
Read MoreTrump Seen Shopping for Shrapnel-proof Vests
In what can only be described as a bold, albeit peculiar, move, former President Donald Trump was recently spotted shopping…
Read MoreMusk Declares Twitter Revenue Loss an ‘Intentional Strategy to Promote Anti-Consumerism’
Chip ByteleyIn a move that has left Wall Street analysts and Twitter users equally bewildered, Elon Musk announced that the platform’s…
Read MoreDutch Government Introduces Revolutionary Plan to Solve Housing Crisis by Redefining Cargo Bikes as Apartments
Amsterdam, Netherlands – In a move set to revolutionize urban living and possibly redefine the very concept of “home,” the…
Read MoreKamala Harris Aims to Overshadow Trump With WWE Debut
Vice President Kamala Harris has announced her intention to enter WWE, aiming to outshine former President Donald Trump’s infamous WWE…
Read MoreMiddle-Eastern Terrorist Arrives to Speak to Congress and White House
In a baffling display of international relations, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, widely criticized and labeled a “Middle-Eastern terrorist” by…
Read MorePolice Implement ‘Shoot First, Ask Questions Later’ Policy for Calls from Black Neighborhoods
In an open acknowledgment of existing biases, police departments across the nation have started implementing a controversial new policy: “Shoot…
Read MoreElon Musk Contributes $45 Million for Trump to Reduce Electric Car Numbers
In a bewildering twist that seems to defy logic and history, Elon Musk has pledged $45 million to support Donald…
Read MoreIDF Applauded for ‘Zero Hostage Safety’ Policy in Latest Heroic Mission
In an audacious display of military innovation, the IDF has introduced its groundbreaking “Zero Hostage Safety” policy, a strategy hailed…
Read MorePolice Urge Citizens to Defend Themselves as Calling 911 Now Considered a High-Risk Activity
In a surprising and unsettling development, police departments nationwide have started advising citizens to think twice before calling 911, citing…
Read MoreMicrosoft Suggests Scrapping Privacy Protections to Prevent Future Outages Like CrowdStrike
In a startling announcement, Microsoft has suggested that the recent CrowdStrike outage could have been avoided if only they had…
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