Head of Lettuce Considers Rejoining UK Politics, Expected to Run as Independent
Polly TickleIn a surprising twist that has left the British political scene in stitches, the infamous Head of Lettuce, which famously…
Read MoreHundreds of Thousands of ‘Anti-Semitic’ Jewish People Protest War in Tel Aviv
In a remarkable and somewhat paradoxical turn of events, Tel Aviv has witnessed its largest anti-war demonstration to date, with…
Read MoreChinese Military Wraps Up Invasion Practice, World Watches Anxiously
In a display of military might that has sent ripples across the globe, the Chinese military has concluded its latest…
Read MoreBiden to Release All ‘Low-Level’ Murderers, Claims “No Equivalence with Serial Killers”
In a controversial and unprecedented move, President Joe Biden has announced plans to release all “low-level” murderers, arguing that their…
Read MoreRishi Sunak Declares Government to Be Disbanded to Avoid Election Loss
In a move that has left political pundits and the general public equally baffled, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has announced…
Read MoreUSA and Russia Find Common Ground: Both Denounce ICC as “Inconvenient”
In a surreal twist of global politics, the United States and Russia have found themselves in rare agreement over a…
Read MoreIsrael Declares Hamas Leaders as Jewish in Response to ICC Arrest Warrants
In an unprecedented twist of irony and geopolitical theater, Israel has responded to the International Criminal Court’s (ICC) issuance of…
Read MoreUS Announces New Foreign Policy: Sanctioning Anyone Who Tries to Hold Us Accountable
In a bold and somewhat baffling move, the United States has unveiled a new foreign policy initiative: sanctioning any international…
Read MoreScientists Announce Microplastics as the New Superfood: Part of Your Daily Detox!
Chip ByteleyIn an unprecedented turn of events, scientists have discovered the latest addition to the health food craze: microplastics. These tiny…
Read MoreLindsey Graham Proposes Invasion of Netherlands: “ICC Can’t Arrest Us If We Own Them”
In a spectacular display of international diplomacy, Senator Lindsey Graham has proposed that the United States should invade the Netherlands…
Read MoreDublin-New York Omegle Experiment Reopens
After a hiatus marked by controversy and lewd behavior, the Dublin-New York portal has officially reopened, promising a renewed and…
Read MoreIsraeli Officials Insist Fog Operated Independently, No Mossad Ties
Tel Aviv, Israel – In a press conference today, Israeli officials emphatically denied any involvement in the recent helicopter crash…
Read MoreBritish Airways to Replace Boarding Passes with Facial Recognition Tattoos
British Airways is taking a futuristic and slightly unsettling approach to streamlining the boarding process. In a trial program that…
Read MoreGreg Abbott Announces Support for Terrorism
AUSTIN, Texas – In a surprising and controversial development, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has garnered widespread attention with a recent…
Read MoreBiden So Colorblind, He Fails to See His Own Red Lines
In an astonishing display of diplomatic colorblindness, President Joe Biden has managed to completely overlook his administration’s previously declared “red…
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